Dating someone with low self confidence

So people with high self esteem, who generally see themselves positively, tend to believe other people see them positively.They typically think that people who don’t know them yet will probably like them and that people who already like them will keep liking them.

She blogs for Psychology and Business Insider, and contributes to various magazines.

Self esteem is a fundamental component in a healthy, balanced life.

It provides you with a grounding so that if everything is going badly for you, you’ll be able to rely upon your inner feeling of self-worth and wellbeing to get through clean on the other side.

The problem is that many people lack self-esteem, not because of external events in their lives, but due to their own internal conflicts.

For self-help with developing a more stable self-concept, try The Anxiety Toolkit.

For psychology students who want to do additional reading – this post is based on the Dependency Regulation Model (developed by Dr Sandra Murray and colleagues).

They don’t put any work into managing the processes of their thoughts and their minds and therefore approach life with a great deal of fear and paranoia. Validation can come in the form of compliments or acceptance and is usually attained at a great cost to the person seeking it.

For example, some men with low self esteem will spend their hard-earned money relentlessly buying clothes, cars and other material things to artificially raise their baseline self-esteem.

People always look in the wrong places for self-esteem. So many of us are trapped in a cycle of meaningless work and perennial consumption. In the same way that the wheel was an extension of the foot, and electricity was an extension of circulation (Mc Luhan, 1964), materialism has become an extension of our self-esteem, albeit an artificial one. When they get into relationships, they like to believe that they’re falling in love, but they’re not, they’re simply astonished that someone out there likes them and in turn they slide into an obsessive state of infatuation with the woman. When they meet a girl who validates them, they immediately invest emotionally.

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