Dating and moving
Sex, a daily experience for many of us way back when, was another appealing aspect of living together. Granted, these live-in arrangements were rarely successful in the long term, but few of us were thinking very far ahead.
Now we’re in our 60s and 70s, and the notion of living together, while still having many of the earlier advantages, includes new issues never faced in youth.
We have friends separately and together and routinely spend time away from each other.
Ken’s new book, Your Guy is Out There, Dating Tips for Women Over 50 is now available.
Being single at forty is often portrayed in the wider media with humor or pity, and rarely reflects the reality that single women at goop in their forties have found: Dating is still (or even more) fun, there are more options in terms of partners than there were in the world without dating apps, and, well—there’s nothing more humorous or pitiable about dating in your forties than dating in your twenties.
Another client, Jennifer, age forty-six, described the people she was dating as shallow—players who valued looks over connection. For clients like Coral and Jennifer (and other clients like them), reflecting on how they view themselves helps balance their approach to dating. While this self-work can take many forms (from therapy to meditation, etc.), and can be difficult, it’s actually surprising how relatively straightforward it is for many to tap into the power of their own desires—and to harness that energy toward their dating experiences.
Like Coral, Jennifer associated men with strong words (albeit negative ones like ). We are pre-programmed to feel desire, to connect with others, to fall in love (and I don’t just mean one time, with one person). When it comes to romance, we’re often enticed to follow fads or fit into social norms—to think of dating later in life as unnatural (there’s something wrong with me).
(Also From Galland: Finding Love: The Power of a New Story, How To Rate Your Date—Before Getting Hooked, and Getting Smart About Love.) by Suzannah Galland Dating should be fun: The thrill of waking up next to a new lover—feeling their soft breath against your body—is fantastic at any age.
But dating at forty-plus is too often cast in a sad light by the media, so for some, the thought of being single and forty (or older) brings to mind what one doesn’t have, or is losing, as opposed to what you do have—or are even gaining.
If you started dating again, could you live with someone? Are you living with someone part of the week, month or year? What advice would you give to someone who is about to try dating over 60? Ken Solin is a dating expert for The Huffington Post and AARP.
He’s been written about boomer sex, dating and relationships for a decade.
Deciding to live together with a partner is a decision with implications that we ignore at our peril. We’ve been dating and spending weekends and Wednesday nights together for nearly five years. Since Nancy’s home is larger than mine, we’ll live in hers. I’m feeling an overwhelming need to have an adventure.
I’m a youthful person, but even so, I’m uncertain how many adventures I have left to experience. political circus that will likely continue for years to come, and Latin culture seems far less burdened – even by its incredibly unpopular President.
At some point in most monogamous, over-60 relationships, the issue of whether or not to live together comes up.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating