Dating a man who has been divorced twice

There are lots of different reasons why couples call it quits but no matter how or why, all divorced people have one thing in common — being asked, “So, why did you get divorced?” It isn’t necessarily a question: sometimes the answer helps people gauge their own relationships.

Still, even they’re not exempt from raised eyebrows. Poor Judith, however; her admission that Rudy was her third husband set the tabloids on fire. Which is why I find answering “So, why did you get divorced? People tend to blame divorces on the women, just as surely as they notice a messy or dirty home and fault the wife for her shoddy housekeeping.

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s rocky marital history — he’s now on wife No. Aren’t wives the ones who say “I want a divorce” two-thirds of the time?

-- I would be remiss if I didn't also share some cautions to keep in mind.

In case you're wondering, one divorced dad swept me off my feet (then dropped me over a ledge).

But that marriage lasted 14 years and gave me two wonderful children.

Although I didn’t want to be a cliche — a 40-something divorced mom — stuff happened and we couldn’t work it out.

All I can say is this: Listen to your gut, listen to your gut, listen to your gut -- no matter what others think and how good things seem on the surface.

Be sure to take your time to get to know him, his family, his friends, his co-workers. There is never a good reason to rush a relationship -- especially if you have kids.

Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.

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