Advice for friend about dating

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha Nothing appears to be going right. If they say what you want to hear, you're relieved. In fact, oftentimes you're more frustrated than you were before once they put their two cents in. Think back real hard—what in particular helped or irked you about advice people gave you? Even though you know this is all temporary—it always is—you feel the need to ask other people what you should do.They're trusting you to hear them out without being judgmental or condescending.

” realize what's done is done, and focus on what they can do or change right now.

Try something like, “It might help to consider….” Then, offer your support along the path.

Your friend could approach her boss exactly like you did for a raise and end up being demoted—at which point she might blame you.

Keep expectations realistic by focusing on possibilities within the realm of uncertainty.

Oftentimes when people ask for advice, what they really want is to rehash something they can't get off their mind—something they've probably talked about repeatedly to lots of different people (maybe even anyone who'd listen).

The best way to be a friend is to enable both what they to do.It can feel gratifying to figure out what seems like the answer and then deliver it in a sermon.It's like being a good advice detective when you figure out exactly what someone should or can do, and you feel even better when you can put it all into words eloquently.Want: tell the story repeatedly, as if they can change how they feel if they just talk about it enough. Tell them you're there to listen to everything they need to say.Once they've gotten all out, you'd love to help them move on.But it always looks different when you're inside the mess than it is when you're standing on the sidelines.

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