21st century dating etiquette

Unfortunately, the mission of finding a significant partner is not a risk-free occupation.

Experiences in relationships leave many with scars and insecurities.

With this evidence, why would we ever try to look for something more serious?

21st century dating etiquette-1

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To be fair, our whole lives we’ve been discouraged from pursuing serious relationships.

“You’re too young to be so serious with [insert significant other’s name],” our parents insisted.

If an individual we’re interested in brings too much baggage or too much work to pursue, we adapt to the “there’s more fish in the sea” mentality and move on.

“The ‘through the thick and thin’ concept is overshadowed by the realm of possibilities we have with sites like OKCupid, or just with going out and meeting people,” said Florida State University freshman Ciara Foquim. We don’t want to keep around a boyfriend or girlfriend if we foresee any troubles or conflicts.” However, not every student completely agreed that old-school romance is as dead as parachute pants.

I am not in a relationship – or in what someone 20 years older than me would consider a relationship – yet rarely am I definitively single. Our vocabulary is straining as much as we are to encompass the world of modern dating. Recently The New York Times questioned whether traditional courtship was over, and whether ‘hanging out’ had replaced ‘dating’. Last Friday night I met four girlfriends for drinks after work. We’d met at a mutual friend’s party around Christmas, and had seen each other a couple of times since with friends. We follow the new rules as assiduously as they do, are just as uneasy about being pinned down, just as likely to be the texter as the textee. Why make a phone-call or suggest a date when you can send a non-committal text that merely dangles the possibility of meeting?

All week we’d been texting, messaging and emailing. If, like me, you’re a ‘millennial’ (born between 19) you will have never known adulthood – or adult relationships – without a mobile phone. Instead of dating (an American term anyway) we might be ‘seeing someone’, ‘having a thing’, ‘hooking up’. ) let the rest of the world into our online world with gay abandon: you’d like to see 50 pictures of me on a bikini on the beach? If they’re keen, you’ll see each other; if not, they’ll plead prior plans. But at least one of you can end up feeling confused.What was once a period of real dates and “going steady” is now an era of confused hookups and Netflix and chill.Some may view our dating world today as an overly sexualized train wreck while others continue to outrun that pesky “in a relationship” status.Truth be told, our generation’s style of dating doesn’t have a clear-cut definition and depends on the needs of the individual. Whether you prefer to have someone new in your bed biweekly or whether you have a wedding board set up on Pinterest, ultimately, the power is yours.So what will it be: Serious commitment or casual fling?Yet even without an official ‘boyfriend’ there are normally several text conversations with potential beaus buzzing away on my phone.

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